neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

Book club with authors  

• Suzanne Collins:  "Finnick and Annie returned to district 4 and had a child togeth-"
• JK Rowling:  No no no! What are you doing, you can't let that character live. You have to be ruthless. You have to rip out the reader's heart.
• Suzanne Collins:  But he really doesn't need to die
• JK Rowling:  DO YOU WANT A BEST SELLER?!
• Suzanne Collins:  Yes bu-
• JK Rowling:  THEN KILL HIM
• Stephenie Meyer:  Hey Jo maybe you could help me with breaking daw-
• JK Rowling:  Be quiet Stephenie

I walked into the kitchen and lost my appetite for some reason.

You walk into the kitchen. There’s nobody home, and the lights are dim. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him

Spongebob Squarepants

ACTUAL CANNIBAL SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.

Unicorns are a symbol of virginity. Reblog if you’re still a unicorn. 

umarazaoparaviver:

Forever a Unicorn. No one is majestic enough to ride me.

OH MY GOD. THAT COMMENT.

^^^^^ THE COMMENT IS WIN!!!

remember the time shrek 2 ended with the best animated music number ever for no apparent reason

EA GAMES

challenge everything

pigfarts-pigfarts-here-i-come:

I feel so awkward when I show other people something I thought was funny and I’m like crying and can’t breathe because I’m laughing so hard and they just kind of smile at me like

doctorthunder:

and my talents include looking at clothes i can’t afford on the internet and crying